Phendrana Drifts

When I learned of the discovery of five bodies in Calgary, in the quiet and relatively affluent neighbourhood of Dalhousie yesterday, I couldn't deny the story hit me. Two small children were among the victims and it happened not only in my former hometown, but blocks away from where I used to live and study. The eerieness of the family being my age and seemingly similar in terms of place in life just made it hit home.

Fast forward to today. Actually - no, wait. Rewind to Tuesday night. I got an e-mail from a freelance writer wanting to do a story on the student movement in Alberta. I was all too happy to accommodate the writer and suggested a 10:00 time on Thursday to do the interview, sending the reply about an hour after I received the e-mail. As those who know me know, I am pretty excited when it comes to this topic, and love describing the student movement in historical terms. Indeed, my biggest fear was staying within the "no more than 15 minutes of your time" pseudo-limit the journalist's e-mail suggested.

Yesterday, reading of the murder - something which seems apparent now was a murder-suicide by the father, Joshua Lull, still for reasons unknown - I was moved. It bothered me. I read the CBC story online about a friend of the Lulls seeing their home on TV and then rushing to call them and make sure they were alright - and then realizing the horrible truth - it stuck with me up to the time I went to bed.

This morning I went to work, clipped through my e-mails, talked about the day with my colleagues, and got ready for my interview. 10:00 came and went, and finally at 10:15 I called the journalist but her voice mail was full. I wrote a quick note to her via e-mail suggesting I was available most of the day but tomorrow really was bad (I'm a witness in a drunk driving trial tomorrow).

Later that afternoon someone in the office remarked that everyone on Facebook who went to SAIT was missing Amber - variations on a theme that could only mean a death had touched that campus. As he was relaying this I was catching up on the murder story on the Globe and Mail - sure enough SAIT newspaper editor Amber Bowerman was the fifth victim. My friend David Jones, the SAITSA president, was quoted as saying "We found out it was her and our organization was taken aback. We've sent a lot of our staff home today. We're telling them go be with your family - go be with your loved ones. We're in shock. We're upset. We're deeply saddened and we're just trying to cope with it the best we can." That reverberated around the office for a moment.

Then a chill went through my spine as my brain put the rest of the story together. I went to my inbox to read Amber Bowerman's e-mail to me from Tuesday night. I wish we had done the interview. I wish she hadn't been murdered.

Labels: news

7 Comments:

At 7:51 AM, Toby said…

The whole thing is still unfathomable. I wonder if we'll ever get any real answers.
At 11:49 AM, Mike Soron said…

Our office in Calgary has been tremendously shaken, also. Amber had come down last week for the same story topic and met with some of the staff. Though none of us knew her well, it's cast a very dulling despair through the office.

Reading the papers today, I hope this doesn't end up being about "oh, the husband was crazy -- he heard voices." And the conversation is dismissed -- over -- and we move on.

A few months ago, I read that suicide is the number one cause of death among men 10 to 50 in Calgary -- ahead of traffic accidents, heart disease, and all other causes. If this man was responsible, which looks likely, we can't simply demonize him and move on. Something is wrong with the our province and it's not a public safety or "safe communities" issue.

If the husband was ill and untreated, it's our fault as a society -- he's not a criminal in a common sense of the word.

I think part of why this has moved me so much is that I feel partly responsible. We are all culpable in this.
At 12:34 PM, alexandra S. said…

I just wanted to thank Mike Soron for his comment - I have read the news reports and other comments from people who obviously have no experience with mental illness and I appreciated that he was able to say something that we can all learn from...

Psychosis, in all its forms, can come on incredibly suddenly and there is often very little warning, if any at all. These were not the actions of someone who was evil or wanting to hurt. Those who knew and loved Joshua will tell you that by all accounts he was an extremely compassionate and caring human being who, up until this terrible night, had led an exemplary life. He didn't get the help he needed quickly enough.

All I'm trying to say is we need to pay attention to our family, friends, coworkers. Look around, Stop. Pause. Ask Questions. Maybe that stressed expression, that comment that seemed a little off, that not-his-usual-self moment, needs to be noticed and delved into a little. Sure maybe its nothing, maybe its normal everyday stuff that everyone goes through, but on the other hand maybe its more than that. Maybe you can be the way through which someone gets the help they need.

There is sometimes a fine line separating a hospital stay and good medical attention from a tragedy of unbvelievable proportions. So, if you wonder, ask. They may not want to talk about it....but there is an equal chance that the opportunity may open the floodgates that may end up with a healthy result. It may be nothing to you, or just a little bit of your time, but it may be everything to the person in need.
At 12:19 PM, Duncan said…

Good advice Alexandra.
At 7:42 PM, Anonymous said…

Too often people are very uncomfortable talking about these kinds of things. Alexandra's advice is good - reach out to people with compassion and acceptance, sometimes they just need to be heard.
At 3:18 PM, Anonymous said…

canadian viagra viagra women cheap viagra nz does viagra really work how to get viagra effects of viagra on women does viagra work viagra generic soft tab cheap viagra nz viagra online uk too much viagra cheap generic viagra pharmacy viagra buy cheap viagra online
At 3:54 AM, Anonymous said…

I understand wifi and everything, but there is one thing I don't get. How come apple made the iphone music store that you have to be on wifi to access it? I know that edge access would be slower, but that can't really be an excuse. Edge and wifi use the same internet, so why can't both access the itunes store?
[url=http://unlockiphone22.com]unlock iphone[/url]

<< Home

Twitter Updates

7 Comments: