Allie & Duncan Wojtaszek

All dresses are done, picked up and waiting patiently at Kerry's house.

My hair is coloured and styled.

Raven's jewlery is bought, still not sure what to do about mine...

Little odds and ends all purchased, including some very nice smelling man scent for Duncan. MmMMmmm, Eternity. Not only does it smell delicious it seemed rather fitting as well for the occasion.

Pretty soon, after I finish ordering the catering and send the wedding vows off to Murray, all I will have left to do is panic... :-)

A friend emailed me to say she thought I should keep my own last name.

Here's what I wrote in response:

It's illegal to take your husbands last name in Quebec? I didn't know that!

I thought about keeping my last name, especially since I have written so much that has been published with it, but I don't have my degree yet so I figure I can deal with everything else. Truly, I considerd it very carefully, and this is what I came up with...

My last name is really only borrowed from my ex husband, so it's sort of not my name in that way, atleast not the way it belongs to my children.

I am not wild about my maiden name (Perkins) and was eager enough to leave that behind as soon as I possibly could (maybe even a little too eager). In school people used to call me Allie-cat Puuuurrrrr-kins. They meant well and thought it was cute, but it drove me crazy.

I love Duncan's last name. It's not common and there is something very allurring about going from a name like "Smyth," where there are hundreds of them, thousands even, to a name where there are so few in the phonebook you are likely the only one, and if there are others you are probally related. But yeah, it has character and pride and it's his family name and I am proud to be part of his family.

I actually normally only go by Allie on a daily basis, and have for a very long time, so I indentify with myself as Allie. Thats how I introduce myself, thats what my voce mail says, thats my legal signature. I am unsure how many people might notice I have changed my last name anyways.

I am influenced greatly by native traditions and believe that as you grow through your life and you change then so does your name, so I am very open to the concept of changing my name, excited even. I am not the same... I am not much different perhaps, but I am definatley growing.

Thought about hypeniating. I am undecided but likely will choose not to.

And lastly, but also just as important, I understand how important it is to Duncan to share his name with me. He was somewhat hurt when his first wife didn't want to choose his name, and that pain was tied up in the unusual circumstances surrounding their marriage and how it was kept a secret for over a year, and I don't want him to feel that way, or even associate us and what we have, with past hurts. I am proud to be his partner, I love him and I would be honoured to take his name.

Besides, I want to. I like it, alot :-)

Remember the wedding invitation we sent a while back to the Stanley Cup, care of Captain Jarome Iginla?

I found this in the mail box today.

Along with this note...

We are saddenned too by the summer's lack of the Cup, but they are all still our hero's! Go Flames Go!

Holy.

Well today was a whirlwind kinda day - We got our Marriage Licence (who would have thought it would have cost 70.00?), paid for the chair rentals, bought some lovely under the wedding dress attire, visited the dressmaker for a last fitting (How could my boobs grow any more???) before she made the dress (I should get it tomorrow) and mused about other small purchases that need to be made - the little things I seem to be remembering every day.

Tonight Duncan and I are retiring to the newly landscaped garden to enjoy the evening calm and write our wedding vows...

"In my tradition it is expected of married people, that they accept each other like guests. When we respect each other like that, love and happiness will last."

"Through the love in a partnership with one person, through learning the art to make the other one happy, we can begin, to express our love for all beings."

Well. My Dad just died. He had asked my Mom to buy him a nice suit so he could give me away. It was a very sweet thought indeed. I am both glad and happy that he would have been honoured to have blessed my union with Duncan. I know he really liked Duncan but I am sure he would have liked him even more had he much of a chance to get to know him.

It has been depressing - first Duncan's Mom, whom really wanted to come to our wedding (and whom I only talked to on the phone or via email), and now my Dad.

I fionally found a pair of shoes for the wedding. Am having some communication issues with my dress maker, but I will get a hold of her soon. All I really have to do now is decide how I would like my hair done, and settle on the catering. Actually, I am sure there is more to do, but it's kinda hard to think about it all right now.